Thursday, March 02, 2006

Operation, interesting discovery

I'm having an operation on Tuesday in March again. This time, I will remove my bolt sticked to back bone. I'm not so nervous than the first time because it is easier operation, the doctor said so. I hope. He will use even hammer if bolt is conncected with bone well. Isn't it crazy? I worry about it. but I am in a dream then. It does come in the end. I hope I will be in good again and everything will be fine.

I found an interesting thing. I talked about the operation to some friends. They were both Japanese and foreign people(mostly American). I found different reaction to my operation of them. When I told to Japanese, they said, "Oh, really? Are you OK? I feel for you." On the other hand, foreign people reacted in different way. What do you think it will be? Take a guess now before reading followings. They said, "Oh, really? You will be fine. When you go through the gate in airport, the buzaa alarm you by seaching metal. but now you don't meet it. It's nice. hahahaha--!" Like this. They are always happy. Japanese senses delicate things, and put themselves in other's place. Funny... I'll be back soon.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Over, personal blog

Second grades was over! We have done well for two years together. This blog project was one of our assignment, one post per week. Now, I don't have to write any more, but for my English and opening my heart, I continue posting. This will not be like before, once a week, but I will try as hard as I can. This time, I'll introduce myself once again.

I was thinking about career every time when deciding university I will go in study aboard. Since I was elementary student, I wanted to be a police officer. It's just because I was impressed with the role itself. The role of police officer is to help people from the evil. I entered junior high school, and joined judo club. In the judo club, I had hard time to live. I hated the judo practice. The practice consisted Junan, Ukemi, Uchikomi, Nagekomi, Newaza, Randori and so on. I'll explain each words.

Junan: We stretch our body, and make it soft to be safe when we was thrown. It also make our attack better because the range of moving becomes bigger.

Ukemi: They slip or fall down their body nicely. attractively? beautifully? something like that. I guess that most people think "What? To slip beautifully? Are you crazy?" But it is a way to be safe when they are thrown. They clap their hand with ground(tatami=green mattress). It makes impact of falling down softer. So good Ukemi player don't have injured. They have similarity. Good ukemi player can make very big sound of clapping. But it doesn't mean they are strong, because they are good at only losing well.

Uchikomi, Nagekomi, and Randori are the process for judo tournament. In Uchikomi, they practice the beginning part of attack. It means they don't throw player. In Nagekomi, they do. Before they do them both, they arrange promise with other of particular attack. In Randori, they practice like judo match.

Newaza: In a position of lying, they fight. The winner has to hold other for 25 seconds. Or, to take a joint of other player. Or, to chop other until they give up.

I had played judo for 6 years from junior high school to high school. As I wrote before, the junior high school judo manager was too strict. I coulnd't stand. sometimes I pretended ill for not practicing. But in high school, I had small dream. It was to be a champion. I didn't mind of place such as champion in Osaka, champion in Japan, champion in the earth. My high school was public school, so compared with personal school, it was weaker because personal school put emphasis on judo only. One day, I worried about the difference. My senior friend who was judo player in personal school, came and advised me. He said, "It is not important at all. It depends on your effort in judo." I was impressed with the words. From then, I practiced harder. My last game came closer.

It was in June 2003. I got up in the early morning. I went downstairs and ate breakfast that my mom prepared. The breakfast was a little different from usual. It was bread and banana. I believed in the power of banana. I bited a little more times before swallowing. I changed my clothes, grabbed my judo bag, and left my home. In the train on the way to place where tournament was held, I couldn't be usual. I lied lazily. When I met other club members, I did nothing special but just looked around. On arriving there, I moved quick for my game. There were many players. My level was -60kg. so it means that player who is under 60kg compete. In -60kg, the players was around 120. The starting ceremony ended and my matches started. I won the first two games with my attack Seoinage. but in the third, the player was one of the best who was in personal school. We grabbed judo wear each other, and stayed quite while. The moment I thought about attack-Seoinage, I was thrown beautifully. It was sad because it was the last chance for me to be champion. and moreover, it was beautiful.

When thinking about the memory of judo, I still have regret. I couldn't be a champion.

Thursday, January 12, 2006


Happy New Year! Last year was dynamic special year. I broke my back bone. I went to France. I became 20. I started part time job. I had many new experience. It's good except for back bone. For this year, my resolution is, first of all, to be healty. Health is one of the most important thing. I wish to have energy to make new experiences, and not to waste time. I don't know why, recently at home, I lie down as fast as possible. Also in the train, when I sit down, my body is always going down to lie. I'm thinking it's because of my muscle around back. In February or March, I will have medical operation to take out bolt that is inside my body. Then I can do exercise and make muscle. And I wish to succeed in study abroad. It was my object from junior high school. Some days ago, I went to Coming of Age ceremony, and talked with our teacher. She remembered me saying "I want to study abroad." I was happy to hear that because teacher have a lot of students and I felt like I came back to my origin.

Is it ok to write like this on blog? I wrote above as I like. I don't think about reader. It's like personal diary. What are you thinking while you are writing on your blog?

Recently, Kazuko Hosoki's popularity are exploding. She is Japanese, her job is fortune telling. At the beginning of this year, she appeared on TV close to every day. She have deep insight on any topic. Personally, she is like hero to save us from any issues that we Japanese are facing or will face. She said terrible thing one day. Japan will disappear in 30 years. The reason is mainly on economical thing. Although Japan don't have resources, Japan developed because of our technology by researching. But company cut off their researching institution, and they offer their work to foreign country. She said, as foreign country work with japanese company, they gain enough knowledge, technology and training to produce by themselves. If it were so, what will happen to japan? Japan will be the same level, and lose business battle with other country. Then finally Japan disappear. She told, this year, Japan will be dark. There will be no warm communication and relationship between us and family, friend, neighbor. And murder increase. I can feel that. In the past, I was in an apartment, our family and other family were on very good term, so I could enter their house and eat dinner together. but now, my family and neighbor are not like that. I notice their face, but I don't know what they are like. As for in family, members are becoming to eat alone. no they eat with TV. Do you prefer now? No, I don't. Actually, our life got convenient. We can live easily, but I think murder and other cold relationship is a product of technology. Technology helps our life, but too much development causes many problems. Environmental problem is also because of technology. In the last semester, in my film class, I wrote paper on Gattacca(1997). My paper's title was Product of Technology in Gattacca. You'll see why I wrote with that as title. Anyway, can we stop this stream? I don't know. Kazuko said, we should know why we are here, what we are, and what help us to exist.
Since I heard that message, I began to have affection on Japanese. I hope them to be nice. I think the best form of country is they control themselves without dependent on others by means of power. Now, japan's food is dependent on other country. If they refuse to export us, we can't live.

Sunday, December 18, 2005


I am Japanese. People who are born in different country is foreigner for me. I'm Asian. I am sometimes taken as Chinese by European or other people. So we Asian are similar. As for European, I can't tell who is French from German from Spanish. So they are similar. Those are all because we are human. They have different culture, but same in the meaning of human.

I participated in one event. There are many people from different cultures there. In such a situation, even Japanese found hard to identify I'm Japanese or Chinese or Korean. And also for me, it was difficult to see them. I talked to japanese in Chinese "ni hao!". It happened sometimes. I sometimes make fun of the situation. I pretended to be Chinese, not Japanese. It was a kind of fun.

There, I talked with chinese. The topic was about relationship between Japan and China. I didn't see his anger toward japan. But in mas media, China is broadcast as country that is getting angry with japan, and don't get along well with Japan unless historical or island's problem are solved. In fact, he didn't have that strongly. So I thought, country decided to pretend in that way. It's not clever to have good relationship. We are living in society where money and benefit is the most important. I am sad with it.

I have some foreign friends. And I hope there is no unfortunate event happen to all their countries. I think this feeling is important to have peace. We have information in mas media or in Internet, but we don't see real shape of the country. Or I should say one person. People have their own background, but we categorize them. so to have real communication is nice to keep peace. but it will be difficult to travel in the future. because do you know bird virus? If the virus spread, many many people die. The prevention is "don't travel!" The virus is one form. More virus will apeear in the future.

Thursday, December 08, 2005


I have lots of movies I want to watch now. In class, we are studying with movie. It's exciting class. We can watch interesting movie, and can share opinion with others. Specially, our teacher Scott has good opinions and interpretation on each film. For example, we studied about gender in other class. My reaction was "uh, huh. I see..." But with film, I found very exciting, because I could understand better and read between the lines. We watched Terminator1 and 2 for comparison. In Terminator 1, Sarah Conor was not so strong as her in 2. What makes the difference was task to save her son, John Conor's life and future. She got stronger in Terminator 2. My interpretation was there. But our teacher suggested more concerning gender role. Sarah Conor got strong. She had her child. But why her child appear in 2? It's not only because of the story, but also director attempted to have audiences uncomfortable feeling down. It means, for men, women are stronger is not so comfortable. But if they don't have husband, and have to save child, they get stronger. And men accept it as natural, or even better one. It's interesting idea.

Like this, my film class is very interesting. I got wide view waching film. And now, I have lot's of movies I want to watch. In normal school day, it is very busy to do homework and do part time job. In weekend, I do part time job. so nowhere to watch film. Every day, I check newspaper to find good movie.(not social or political or economic news) If I can find, I record it. so now I have 4 movies for fun, and 3-4 for class. I don't know if it's happiness.

I prefer movie in midnight to one that start from 9pm, because midnight movie seems to have more topic about daily life. but the biggest reason is to watch before sleep is fun!!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

serious and casual topics

After Japan lost war in 1945, we declared that "We don't have war anymore. We don't have military service. We don't fight unless other troops came." The 9th Japanese national principle said this idea. Now it is breaking. Some politician try to change it. One of the purpose is to have real power to show off to other countries. We have soldiers not genuine soldier but like soldiers to protect Japan instead of military service. I can't allow military service, because military service is for fight to invade and kill. Some say we should have atomic bomb. I want to say,,, What!? Don't you know what atomic bomb is? It kill thousands of people! Because of that, people have serious disease. The atom layer stay there for a long time you can't live. Bomb got big and smart, so it kills you too in some ways. I disagree with having atomic bomb. Japan have that nice law that we don't have war or force. but Look at the Japanese budget. The budget on national defence is 5 trillion. It is about 6% of whole budget. Isn't it too much money on defence? I feel the money should be replaced with others. I feel if Japan and all country do that, most issues in the world will be solved. I hope so.

I planned to write longer today, but I can't think clearly nowadays. Because of part time job? Anyway, I'll write more casual topic. Today, I will go to meat restaurant with my family. In the end, the day came. This day is to celebrate my parents' 25th marriage day. I hope I can give a wonderful time with them(but we can't take my cute dog.) The day was yesterday, but I couldn't go yesterday because of part time job. The job is pretty hard. My supervisor arrange too many work days.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

My dog "Hamu"

She is my dog. She is 7 years old. As human, she is older than me. I think she's about 40~50 years old now. My family have started to have her since 7 years ago. My mother's friend had this kind of dog, and gave birth to 6 dogs. She is one of them. It was in cold winter when she started to live with us. My mother came back from her friends house with one hand bag. In it, she came out. It was first time to meet her.

At the beginning of living in my home, she made troubles so often. She pissed outside her cage. It was me that was pissed by her for the first time. She cried at midnight. so we decided to take her upstairs and sleep together. She loves ball too much. She can't stop moving if once ball is thrown.

Her name is Hamu. In Japanese, the food, ham is pronounced hamu. But she is not this ham. Hamu is originally kanji(Japanese letter). Hamu is divided into two kanji. 'Ha' is feather, and 'mu' is dream. It's nice name. My sister gave her.

One of funny things is she can laugh. When she feel happy to meet people, she laughs funnily. When laughing, she moves her mustle around her mouse, and shows her teeth. It is really cute. And if we call her name happily, she laughs more. Second funny thing is she always rolls her body to all dog and even people to show "I'm weaker" while walking with her. it's fun to go for a walk with her. And she is very friendly, so she approaches to them strongly. And she knows where she wants to go. If I turn other way, she stops and sees my face sadly. I can't beat that sad face, so I change my direction. Every time I take... no, follow her, saying "No problem, princess Hamu."

This such a cute and energetic Hamu have something scary. It is big sound. For example, she's afraid of sound of thunder. She comes to someone and touch, shaking her body. It is also cute. She is afraid of the sound of rain. I feel in such a situation that I want to protect her.